That was stupid
I really hate working 11-7, especially on a Saturday. I'm probably better off working today though. It really helps me get my mind off of things, and I have a lot of things on my mind right now. At least at work I generally have a friend I can talk to about anything.
I'm not generally a jealous or paranoid person. No one has ever given me any reason to be jealous or paranoid, unless you count Rob (and I certainly don't). I think that was a special case, anyway. He was just an asshole, and I was just stupid. Very stupid.
On the other hand, the little pit in my stomach this morning will not go away. I think I can deal with having some strange girl sleep in my boyfriend's apartment with him, but it doesn't change that little part of me that thinks, okay, there's a girl I don't know anything about spending all night and day with my boyfriend while I'm at work. I suppose there isn't much I can do about it, and worrying is just silly on my part.
Maybe I'm just too trusting for my own good. Talking to the girls I work with makes me think that, but Scott has never given me any reason not to trust him, and I don't want to lose what comes very natural to me. I've been hurt by a lot of people, but never by anyone that I truly, truly loved. Of all the most important people in my life, none have ever really seriously hurt me. So while part of me figures that it's going to happen one of these days, the rest of me is pretty sure that the people that do truly love me wouldn't hurt me on purpose.
I wonder how Scott would react if I had one of my (non-gay) guy friends come visit me and stay in my apartment. Can I invite my Canadian friends down here and have them stay with me?
I don't know. Going to work is my best option here. I don't want to stew over it or feel like I have to be watching over Scott to make sure he doesn't do anything stupid. He's not stupid.
I'm not generally a jealous or paranoid person. No one has ever given me any reason to be jealous or paranoid, unless you count Rob (and I certainly don't). I think that was a special case, anyway. He was just an asshole, and I was just stupid. Very stupid.
On the other hand, the little pit in my stomach this morning will not go away. I think I can deal with having some strange girl sleep in my boyfriend's apartment with him, but it doesn't change that little part of me that thinks, okay, there's a girl I don't know anything about spending all night and day with my boyfriend while I'm at work. I suppose there isn't much I can do about it, and worrying is just silly on my part.
Maybe I'm just too trusting for my own good. Talking to the girls I work with makes me think that, but Scott has never given me any reason not to trust him, and I don't want to lose what comes very natural to me. I've been hurt by a lot of people, but never by anyone that I truly, truly loved. Of all the most important people in my life, none have ever really seriously hurt me. So while part of me figures that it's going to happen one of these days, the rest of me is pretty sure that the people that do truly love me wouldn't hurt me on purpose.
I wonder how Scott would react if I had one of my (non-gay) guy friends come visit me and stay in my apartment. Can I invite my Canadian friends down here and have them stay with me?
I don't know. Going to work is my best option here. I don't want to stew over it or feel like I have to be watching over Scott to make sure he doesn't do anything stupid. He's not stupid.
posted by Sarah @ 9:16 AM
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