What it takes

My first day off in eight days, and it's beautiful outside :-) I need more than just one day off work in a row, though, because yesterday I thought I was going to lose it. Just a couple more weeks until my vacation. And since I have to work seven days in a row before my vacation, I am really going to need it.

I'm really glad the boy is at home this week. Yeah, you get used to being alone, but it is a lot nicer to have him around. I do kind of like him, even when he's dead-set on making fun of me all night. Or at least that was how it seemed last night. Usually, I can deal with it and it isn't a problem, but I get the feeling that sometimes he doesn't know when enough is enough. Yesterday wasn't the best day ever, and it's like pouring salt on a wound, you know?

And a lot of the time, I don't really feel good enough for him, so it pushes the insecurity up just a notch when he makes fun of me like that.

As much as my self-confidence has improved over the years, part of me will always have lingering doubts to my own worth. I teeter back and forth between feeling like I'm better than everyone, and feeling like everyone is better than me.

Bleh.